Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
