do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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