"it" just moved
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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