One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
should my penis look like a turkey
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
