apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
