check it out our google latitudes are spooning
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
