Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
