words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
