so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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