Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize