I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
