Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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