it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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