If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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