i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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