She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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