I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
do herpes really smell.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize