My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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