yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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