I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize