i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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