I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
is this the sara with the beer cane?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
