We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
It's never too late to be topless.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
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