NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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