Ambien. No doubt about it.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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