Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
