i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
