I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize