fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
