I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
