My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
