Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
