talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize