At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That accounts for only three of the penises
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
