people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
