i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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