I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
