Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize