i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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