I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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