so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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