Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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