I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Houston, we have a squirter
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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