You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
