we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
