dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
