The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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