I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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