I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
