walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
