either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
