it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
