Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
