Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
