I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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