I'm jealous of your bromance
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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