I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize