So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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