You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
