My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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